Stop Calling Me Dude

Dude, you know, you and me we go way back,
And you know you're like a brother to me, word,
But our conversation's stilted,
And its intellect has wilted,
It's a parody of language overheard.

Dude, it's like this: it's a simple thing we lack,
Our sharpened wits are dulled by underuse,
We're lazier than slugs,
And you know this really bugs,
And I'm sick of coming up with an excuse, so --

    Stop calling me dude, dude,
    I don't mean to be rude,
    But please stop calling me dude, dude,
    Won't you just get a clue,
    And please stop calling me dude.

Now dude, please chill, I know that it's a bummer,
You know that I don't mean to get you pissed,
But we're vocabularily deficient,
And it can't be called efficient,
We're leaving something out, and I feel dissed.

When every day, dude, I end up feeling dumber,
It's kinda like that tower of Babel thing,
We're speaking a strange tongue:
Language's ladder's lowest rung,
And it's harsh but I'm just saying what I feel, so --

    Stop calling me dude, dude,
    I don't mean to be rude,
    But please stop calling me dude, dude,
    Won't you just get a clue,
    And please stop calling me dude.

Dude? Dude!