In the News
There was heavy trading in the morning,
all stocks rose and fell, then rose and fell
again, and continued to rise and fall until noon,
when the older men gave out and let the young traders
hit the floor. Little girls in Gingham dresses went
up a solid point, gutting would-be kidnappers with hair pins,
while would-be kidnappers decided it they'd rather be in a bull
market, because the bulls were more well behaved. Little
boys rose a tiny point, while professional prostitutes went
down.
That's all we have, now back to your regularly
schedualed programming.